Travelling around the world or settling into a new country can be invigorating. It’s a big step for most people, and if all goes well, it will certainly boost your mental wellbeing and self-esteem. Although it often feels like the right choice, being abroad can also come with its challenges.
Today, we are talking to Coach Marcel about how to become mentally stronger in five steps.
What can you, as a coach, help with?
In my opinion, help with mental health problems should be as personalised as possible. Together, we will look at what you are struggling with and what is currently causing your problems, so that we can work on them together. We then choose the approach that will best help you move forward and with which you are most comfortable. This could involve a combination of practical exercises, in-depth conversations, or other therapeutic or coaching techniques.
What issues do you often come across during consultations?
Nowadays, I see that people experience a lot of pressure and stress in trying to meet certain expectations, including their own. They want to keep all the balls in the air, but this actually means they are constantly overloading themselves. This can manifest as sleeping badly, worrying, feeling anxious or tense, and experiencing various physical complaints. People often end up in a vicious circle. If you are tense, you are more likely to worry, which makes you even more tense. This affects your sleep, meaning you don’t wake up feeling rested. As a result, the tension increases, and at some point, you no longer know what is causing it, and you lose more and more grip on the situation or your life.
Why do you think so many people are struggling with that at the moment?
Well, I think life is getting faster and more demanding. We are living more and more in our heads and not listening to our bodies. As a result, we often ignore signals from our bodies and carry on until we can’t do it anymore, with all the consequences. We often try to meet the expectations of others, whether that’s school, work, neighbours, partners, managers or social media, and this can exhaust us.
What can you do if you’re feeling mentally stuck? During consultations, we go through a number of steps together to improve your mental well-being.
Step 1: List all your symptoms. Try to look at what is going on in your life right now as if you were sitting on a lifeguard chair. Map out what you see. Write it down if necessary to get an overview: what are you up against at work? What is going on in your personal life? Do you have enough time for yourself? Are you worried about money? Does your job still suit you?
Step 2: What do you want to work on first? Once you have mapped everything out, decide what is most distressing for you at the moment, or what would be most beneficial to work on. To answer this question, it is important to look at the different patterns in your life. For example, suppose your work is busy and there are more and more tasks. OK, so what is actually causing the problem of having so much work? For instance, have you not learned to say ‘no’, do you automatically defer to hierarchy, or have you always been subservient and accommodating because that’s what you were taught when you were young?
Step 3: What exactly is going on? Map out the situations in which your complaint arises. By whom or what is it caused? What are you doing and thinking at that moment? How do you feel and what do you notice in your body? How do you feel about that? You might even discover the reason why it happens in that particular situation. Do you find it difficult to say no, do you feel insecure, or is it something else entirely?
Step 4: How would you like things to be different? When you are clearer about why and how you react in a certain way in a certain situation, it’s time to climb back up to the top of the lifeguard chair and take a step back. Look at how you would like things to be different. How would you like to feel? What would you like to do? Write down your goal. If this goal seems too big, break it down into smaller, more achievable goals.
Step 5: Take small steps towards change. Decide on a small step you can take to reach your goal or first sub-goal. Make that step nice and small. If the first step is too big, it can be discouraging. For example, could I practise saying ‘no’ to someone once this week if I don’t have time for something? Or, can I get up ten minutes earlier to make myself a cup of tea? Small goals, small steps, and success experiences lead to change.
Are these steps difficult to follow without guidance? Possibly. However, with the help of a coach, it can be much easier. It’s great that help and support with mental health is easily accessible via the Ecare app or portal. People nowadays easily go to a physiotherapist with knee problems, yet still find it uncomfortable to ask for mental health support. The sooner you seek help when you experience problems, the easier they are to resolve.
A half-hour to three-quarter-hour conversation with a coach can give you an overview, help you regain control, and show you the steps you can take towards change.
Would you like to have a conversation with a coach?
Go to the Ecare portal or app now and request a consultation in a language you feel comfortable in. You can schedule up to two follow-up conversations with the coach all free of charge.
